A Feet Treet

A Hand To Take Hold Of The Scene

Spiky Fleur

Map of The End Of The World by Two Sisters and a Friend

Troubling Times

A summer day. A jaunty baseball hat. Three blue slushies from Cumbies. A trip to the Shelburne Museum. Who could ever have foreseen that the idle combination of these elements would result in the emotional scarring of three young friends?

Once upon a time, three young people decided to take a trip to local museum.

“Why not?” “Why not?” “Why not?”

And so they went.

They paid the exorbitant entrance fees and began their wanderment. They toured the merry-go-round, the blacksmiths cottage. Finally, they walked into what they thought was the artist-in-residence’s home.

What they actually walked into was the aftereffect of a monster revolution.

Stuffed entrails dripped off balconies, refugees hung to ropes hanging ominously over open mouths and bared teeth. A single picture of a shell-shocked hat was snapped, and the trio left quietly, mouths hanging open, hearts and minds torn asunder. Never to be the same again.  

The Casual Squid

Casual Squids are full of tricks.

Namely one—they are never casual about anything.

Especially dinner. 

Tomatoface Killah

I never met a Tomatoface Killah I didn’t like.

EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE.

Ollenulus Peepus

Let’s pretend for a second that it’s Easter—

You’re with your entire family. The Easter Bunny showed up trailing baskets stuffed with decorative grass. Your house reeks of the lamb cooking in the oven that your mom only makes for your dad on special occasions because it smells so strongly.

You are, of course, holding the traditional holiday candy called “Peeps” in your hand which you gobble all of in under 2 minutes.

You feel almost immediately sick.

Want to know why?

“Peeps,” otherwise known as Ollenulus Peepus, are actually an extinct and fossilized species. When you eat “Peeps” you are therefore eating fossils.

Should you eat fossils? I don’t think so; they undoubtedly cause stomachache.

Be safe this Easter holiday; be Peepless.  

Monster Blood

Besides being a Goosebumps book, Monster Blood also courses through monster veins and arteries. It pumps through monster hearts. 

Octoblossoms

Masquerading as harmless seeds in your crooked garden, Octoblossoms are dangerous crooks. They have crooked teeth, a crooked smile, a bunch of little crooked legs, and crooked little cute skirts.

They will destroy you by hook or by crook.

Probably by crook.

Keep an eye out for their crooked little box houses made of sticky tacky. 

Cat Butt-Head

If you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll want a glass of milk.

If you give a cat some sunglasses, he’ll unleash the horrifying snub-nosed creature that lives in his rear.

In Loving Memory of a Very Stupid Cat: Tiger (1996-2010)

Juanitasaurus

In the news today: Juanitasaurus:

The Juanitasaurus, long thought extinct, has resurfaced in the quiet town of Post Mills, Vermont. This town, located five miles past Old City, VT and only 2 miles short of Beanville, VT, is enjoying its newfound sense of worth and glory.

“I’m not dead yet,” a 40 foot-long banner strung out across the town’s one mobile station accurately proclaims, because the strangest part of this story is that the Juanitasaurus is, in fact, alive.

Local 6 year old dinosaur expert John Little had this to say about this dinosaur’s mysterious living presence: 

Well, it’s not dead, but it’s really slow. I think no one knew it was alive because it looks like wood, but if you try really hard and don’t blink for a really long time you can see its eyes moving like when dad pretends he’s sleeping on the couch so he doesn’t have to play outside.

What’s next for this slow and steady dinosaur? Locals seem to think it’s ready for the bigtime. Check out their website, and vote to get this giganta-beast its own reality show. 

Monster Hypnosis

My Old Apartment's Face

Self-Addressing Clip

Manhog Drives a 4-Wheeler

Lakes and Crakes

While many believe in a monster (known colloquially as ‘Champ’) who inhabits Lake Champlain, this photo shows disturbing evidence of another type of monster living in these quiet waters—a giant swan (known colloquially-er as ‘Gilberta’?).

Mountster St. Helens

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Sometimes monsters get so angry that their heads explode. 

Maman

A giant spider invading The National Gallery of Canada:

Symbols are only empty bottles. They function only through what you put in them -- personal symbols mean personal alphabet, our uniqueness is all we have.

 RIP Louise Bourgeois.

Fieldwork

This image of a Smug-Stone was captured in the field (Nevada) by Julia. She said that it burst into a forced and screeching vibrato slathered rendition of Danny Boy, and then fell silent and proud.