Ollenulus Peepus

Let’s pretend for a second that it’s Easter—

You’re with your entire family. The Easter Bunny showed up trailing baskets stuffed with decorative grass. Your house reeks of the lamb cooking in the oven that your mom only makes for your dad on special occasions because it smells so strongly.

You are, of course, holding the traditional holiday candy called “Peeps” in your hand which you gobble all of in under 2 minutes.

You feel almost immediately sick.

Want to know why?

“Peeps,” otherwise known as Ollenulus Peepus, are actually an extinct and fossilized species. When you eat “Peeps” you are therefore eating fossils.

Should you eat fossils? I don’t think so; they undoubtedly cause stomachache.

Be safe this Easter holiday; be Peepless.