Phylacteries

An important step to monster seeking is using proper protection. Many theorists argue whether these precursory steps are fair; the logical foundation of their arguments run similar to the “When-I-Can-Chase-A-Deer-With-No-Shoes-On-And-Kill-It-With-My-Own-Hands-THEN-I’ll-Eat-Meat” argument. Let’s assume for the sake of time that 1) deer do not equal monsters, 2) rifles and camouflage do not equal phylacteries, and 3) deer never wear shoes. 

Monster hunters construct these protective phylacteries1 individually; they are localized in their ingredients, creation, and purposes. Anything from potions to spray bottles have been documented as effective. I created this Leaf Shield from leaves pilfered2 from an arboretum near my apartment in Chiang Mai. It hangs near my minuscule porch where it stops monsters from sneaking in through my lockless screen door.  

The sight of lions or dragons guarding temples around Chiang Mai is a common one. In a frenzy of masking tape one afternoon this green dragon appeared on my wall. Normally fearful of such vicious creatures, I deliberated taking this fierce lady down. Her appearance was marked by such a strange surge of peace I decided she must be an image of my room’s guardian.

These strange creations on Kate’s walls were scoured out by us in much the same way as my dragon. Although her phylactery became very toothy, she remained pleasant. I rest easier at night knowing that we are both protected by these towering flat behemoths.

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1 I would use this word’s cousin ‘talisman’ but shudder at how embedded ‘man’ is. ‘Taliswoman’ has less resonance, and ‘talisperson’ is too anthropomorphic. Greek it is!

2 Unknowingly stolen. They had fallen on the ground and I collected the fresher and more pliable looking ones. Upon leaving the scene I was accosted by a group of Thai workers who mimed written permission and peered into my clutched bag of evidence. I smiled and apologized until they handed me some tamarinds and a blossom and wandered away.