Young Cinaverat Fimos1, vacuum extraordinaire, enjoyed eating dirt. He also liked to listen to his owner sing covers of Lady Gaga songs about love2 to him. Cinaverat Fimos often didn’t understand the lyrics, but he tried to enjoy the rhythms and notes.
His life started to suck the day he found himself tasting concrete.
“And STAY out,” his owner screamed. Cinaverat Fimos was optimistic and licked the sand off some little sidewalk pebbles.
“Hey, this isn’t too bad,” he thought to himself, “I could get used to this.” Just then two wicked girls ran by and started pushing him around and spitting on him.
When he swallowed it, everyone fell in love with him and chased him around trying to ogle his trash sack. You see, the ironing board had been ancient and senile and had given Cinaverat Fimos a strong philter. It was so strong, that to escape the throngs of civilians, Cinaverat Fimos gave a mighty bound and leapt into a tree.
Unfortunately, Cinaverat Fimos, in all his thundering youth and stupidity, forgot that vacuums can’t climb down from trees so he died. Some people say that they can still see the ghostly remains of his fan belt sucking sadly at Vermont treetops, but some people are liars.
1 Foreshadowing #1 [(Please forgive my (rusty Latin/ dear Aunt Sally)]
2 Foreshadowing #2
awwww... poor guy had a tough life.
ReplyDeleteVacuums suck. He had it coming .
ReplyDelete